The Tweedles

Dear Trixie…

I thought I’d take a moment to touch base.

There is a lot of talk amongst parents about the terrible twos and the terrible threes and which is worse.  I get a little sad when people talk about their children and how terrible they are being.  I want to promise you, that I’ll never refer to you as terrible.

My darling you are spirited.  You have a mind of your own, you are fiercely independent.  You question authority, you question everything.  You are quick to get frustrated, but you will try anything.  You love with abandon, you are sensitive to others, you are kind, you are caring.  You are generous, you are funny.  You are not terrible, you are not a handful.  You are a perfect toddler, learning about this confusing crazy world around you, and how it fits into your life.

You are spirited.  You are learning patience, and it’s coming, we often have to talk about how things have to happen in sequence and how we need to wait our turn.  Often when we go to Target as a family we’ll all share a Icee and we all take turns.  I love how you monitor our turns, making sure we all get a turn, and that we never leave Hudson out of the rotation.  You’re not concerned with how much you get, just that you have your turn.  It’s really funny, and so adorable!

You’re really starting to develop your own sense of style, clutiviaing your identity.  For example, you love to wear your “Dorothy” shoes.  (the sparkly red ones from your Dorothy costume at Halloween)  You want to wear them with every outfit in all weather.  We often have to discuss why they’re not appropriate, and I’m learning to let my aethetics go, and let you have yours.  But I’ll still insist you take them off when it’s pouring rain.   In addition to haveing a mind of your own, you want to do it all yourself.  It’s amusing to watch you put on your panties, with the waist as a leg hole and a leg hole at your waist.  I’ve learned your cues that you give right before a melt down, so I can diffuse the situation.  Right now we’re learning how to get you to laugh at silly things like putting your panties on “all crazy” as you’ll say.  It’s important to be able to laugh at yourself, and you’re learning that.

I said you question authority.  I don’t mean that you’re out at night tagging buildings, but you do ask why and what for.  I’m learning to take the time and explain things to you, and to not give standard answers like, “just because” or “do as I say”.  I remind myself that you’re not yet 3 and you need to process things a little diferently than me.  It also makes me think about my own personal rules.  I can be rather picky about some things, and you have shown me that it’s okay to wear red shoes with pink leggings and a pink dress, it’s okay to wear mismatched hair accessories, and it’s okay to go out into public with a sticker firmly affixed to your forhead.  It’s also okay to leave freeze dried peas scattered across the floor and read a book instead, and it’s okay to taste the flour when making cookies, it’s okay to have fun!  We still got the peas cleaned up, but we read a book first and then we had a great time playing with the dust buster!

I love how you will try anything, and how you have a perfectionist streak in you.  We’re working on breaking down big tasks and learning the smaller parts, which helps make the big task so much easier.  You wanted so badly to use the scissors I bought for you, but you were so upset that they just didn’t work for you.  So we practiced, a lot.  We learned how to put them on our fingers, then how to move them, how to hold the paper, and now you can cut paper with ease, there’s no more frustrations and you’ll happily make confetti out of anything for me.  I’ve started to use this same philosophy.  Rather than get so upset at a daunting task, I’ve learned to break it down into smaller more managable pieces.  I get less stressed this way, and I can complete my task quicker too!  (which gives me more time to play with you!)

I love how much you love your brother.  You love everyone so easily, you don’t hold grudges and forgive quickly.  These are all traits that everyone needs in life.  You are an excellent share-er, and I love how you are adamant that you share.  Tonight we were eating pudding after dinner and you were sharing yours with Daddy, and he was telling you that he had his own, and you demanded that he eat the spoonful you were offering.  “Daddy, I’m sharing!  It’s sharing!”  I guess we need to have a chat about how sharing is important, but sometimes people don’t want what you’re offering.  You are so careful that Hudson always gets his share.  I often have to remind you that Hudson can’t have everything you do, but I know you sneak it in.  We’re awfully lucky that we don’t have nut allergies in the family, because I’m pretty sure Hudson’s tasted peanut butter already.

I know that children don’t understand or have empathy until they are older, but I think you are well on your way to being an empathetic person.  You’re learning how to deal with your emotions when it comes to Hudson.  Having a little brother can be frustrating sometimes, and you have lashed out, and when the dust settled, you are crushed if he’s upset.  Today you kicked Hudson, and as a result you were put in the corner so that we could assess Hudson and make sure he was okay, (there was quite a thunk from his head hitting the dresser), and while in the corner you sobbed, you were so upset that Hudson was crying.  (Perhaps also upset that you were in the corner.)  After Hudson was deemed okay, you were let out of the corner and you came over and crawled up to me on the bed and were so sad, you just wanted to hug Hudson and make sure he was okay.  Then you showered him with kisses, all while you cried.  Then we practiced what to say when you are frustrated and when it’s time to walk away.  But your concern for Hudson was there, all morning.  You were extra attentive to him, making sure he was okay.  It was sweet.

Finally you are funny.  You crack me up with your faces, your comedic timing and your singing.  I love how you make up songs, just like I do.  Often tuneless, often nonsensical, always funny.  You and I have this thing we do where I’ll sing half of a line of a song and you’ll finish the last part, often in a silly falsetto.  It’s so funny, and I need to get a recording of it, even though I will be embsarassed at my poor singing.   You like to wear things that you know will get a laugh.  Your favourtie right now is the Princess Leia wig for Chachi’s costume.  It just fits the top of your head and you know it will elicit a laugh out of Daddy or I, so you put it on, nearly daily.  I can’t point a camera at you without you making a “funny face!”, and I can often find you making faces at Hudson, just to make him laugh his sweet baby laugh, which you seem to get as much joy out of as me.

So, sweet girl, as you can see, you are not terrible.  You are amazing.  Sometimes it’s fustrating to help you navigate through life and the world.  I just need to sit back and try to see things the way you do.  It’s all new and amazing to you, sometimes scary, I need to remember that.  I find that I am learning so much from you, and really challenging what I thought I knew about myself.  I hope that I am becoming a better person just by having you grace my life.  I guess this letter should be titled: “What I’ve learned from my Amazing Daughter, in her short 2.75 years.”  You are amazing, I love you so much!

love, always and forever,

Mama.

Dear Trixie,

you’ve turned 32 months old!  I’ve started to plan your 3rd birthday already, I think it’s going to be a big hit with you!  We’ll see!

This month you’ve been busy as always.  You’ve really been enjoying your gymnastics and ballet classes.  In gymnastics you’ve really started to shine, showing no fear and trying anything.  Initially you were scared of the pits with the blue foam blocks, but now you’re comfortable in them, sometimes you proclaim yourself a shark swimming in them.  You’ve also conquered the cargo net, which is impressive since it’s made for much bigger kids.  You’ve also become good at the rings, well more like you can hang on to them while they swing, which is a huge improvement, since you couldn’t hold your weight before.  Right now you’re working on a variety of trampoline jumps and bringing your toes up to the bar.  You’re also learning to cartwheel and have mastered a front roll and are working on a back roll.  In ballet you are doing really well in the class without me.  You listen well and love to dance.  You’re kind and help the other littler girls in the class.  I love watching how diligently you watch your teacher and practice all of your positions.  You’ve made great improvements in your hopping and can hold one leg up and hop holding onto someone’s hand.  You love the teddy bear dance and doing arabesques on the barre.  Oh and you love to courtesy.  I have to make sure you always have a skirt at ballet so you can courtesy.  Cute abounds!

This month we went and tried out some preschools and while I am torn as to which one to choose I am sure you would love either.  Both times you were confident to leave me while I toured and you played with the other children.   I find it funny that you’ve never been to a school, and yet you have no separation issues, although I haven’t left you at one yet, we’ll see how that goes when you start.  I’m not sure yet if you will start next September or perhaps next month, or even this January.  We’ll see. 

A couple of weeks ago Daddy won some tickets to Disney on Ice and you were so excited.  When Daddy came home we told you that we were going to go and see some princesses dancing on the ice and you gave us a blank stare.  Then after a few moments of blankness you make the connection and started screeching something about your stickers (you have princess stickers) and slapping my cheeks.  You had so much fun!  I think we’ll have to make sure to take you again when the Disney on Ice tour comes back this way.  Seeing this corresponded well with your recently discovered love of Disney princesses, and I am okay to foster it.  We watched the Little Mermaid and you loved it.  I introduced the sound track to you and we listen to it every day in the car, I like how you have renamed the songs: the sister song, the crab song, the naughty octopus song, the other crab song and the mermaid song.  It’s really cute how you’ve made the connection with the music to the movie.  We also watched a Cinderella movie and you loved at one as well.  I really am enjoying sharing Disney with you.  It was something I loved as a child, and its pretty amazing to see you love it too.  As an aside, I know that so many people are against the whole princess thing, which saddens me because I don’t think it’s as evil as they are portrayed by the princess haters.  I’m sure you will grow up to be a strong confident woman, despite watching some princess movies!

As always, your eating in the same.  Recently I have been letting you help me more in the kitchen which tickles you so much.  One day we were making something chocolatey and I added some cocoa powder to the mix and you asked what it was and I told you it was chocolate.  So you, being the little imp you are, took a ball of cocoa powder (it needed to be sifted) and ate it!  It was large too, about the size of an almond, you made a face and tried to spit out the bitter chocolate, but it just made a thick ooze out of your mouth.  Funny stuff.  You haven’t been turned off of cooking though, and you ask before you eat something. 

This month for my birthday I finally got a road bike and a trailer, so we’ve been able to go for bike rides.  So far you’re happy to share the trailer with Hudson.  You seem to like to shout for me to go faster, which seems amusing, but isn’t.  You’ve noticed that I do several workouts a week and have made the connection that it’s a priority for a healthy life.  When I come home from yoga or the gym, you’ll reward me with a chorus of “Mama you’re sweaty!” which I thought was “Mama you’re pretty!” the first few times you said it.  You understand the difference between the yoga gym and the regular gym.  Sometimes you go to the gym with me and you even try to workout with me.  It’s more fun to do bench dips when you have a small workout partner!

You still love to read, and will sit for long stretches and read quietly to yourself.  You are fascinated with letters and can name them all, as well as all of your numbers.  You have a long list of sight words, which contains mostly names, but also some simple words like cat and dog.  You love to draw faces and some of them are really intricate, you’ll draw Daddy and he’ll have a nose with nostrils, eyes with eyelashes, a beard and short spiky hair.  You don’t like to draw me though, you claim that you’re too little, I think it’s because you are stumped with how to draw my hair.  You love to sing and I can often hear your little voice singing about wheels on a bus with daddies saying shh shhh shhh and babies crying.  More than anything you sing your ABCs, the end verse is your own little concoction, “Now my ABCDE, next time won’t you sing with me”, the amazing thing is that the rhythm works. 

I can say now that you are potty trained, although you do wear a diaper to ballet and gymnastics because it’s hard to get out of your gear quickly.  I think though that we’ll be able to start wearing panties to those classes soon.  We’ve even had a few naps where you’ve stayed dry, so I should just be brave and let you have a nap with no diaper and see what happens. 

When you are chided and we talk about a consequence you always answer with “I do”, which should be I don’t, but always I do.  I can’t help but giggle quietly.  Toddler grammar is amusing.

Sweet girl, we’ve had a busy fall, and winter doesn’t look like it’s going to slow down!  It’s fun though.  I love to see how you are changing and learning about things around you.  It’s amazing!

I love you so much Little Love!

love Mama.

Dearest Trixie,

this month you turned 31 months old!  I dare say you’re creeping closer and closer to the big 3!  To celebrate you’ve been practicing showing 3 fingers to demonstrate your age, although you still remind us that you’re two old.  It’s cute. 

We talk about age a lot lately, well mostly we talk about being a big girl or a little girl, and since you’re such a smart girl you’ve managed to figure out how to manipulate a situation declaring yourself big or little.  For example, you’re too little to walk up the stairs on your own, so I have to carry you and your brother– which, by the way, is nearly 50 pounds of baby, and is quite heavy.  You declare yourself  ’big’ when you are putting on your own shoes or opening the garage door. 

Lately we’ve started working towards not having any more bottles and we talk about exchanges for your bottles, if you’re feeling particularly ‘big’ you’ll go for the bath and book before bed instead of a bottle, but if you’re ‘ little’ you’re happy with a bottle and straight to bed.  For nap time, if you’re big you go to bed with no bottle and get to watch a show when you wake up, or when you’re little, there is no show.  Although you can be sneaky too and declare yourself little before nap and big after nap.  Also lately you’ve made the connection about eating your food and growing big.  If you finish a whole meal you proclaim that you’re going to get bigger, which is cute, but I do worry that you will overeat just to get bigger, so I try to not perpetuate the food= bigger idea. 

Your eating is the same as ever, with a nice little added twist that your baby brother is pretty much out eating you.  I don’t want to use his healthy appetite to shame you, but sometimes it’s hard to not remark on how much he’s eating in comparison.  (he can eat!)  Luckily you are unfazed and will tear chunks off of whatever you’re eating and fling it across the table at your brother so he can eat it.  This sounds crass, but you’re doing it lovingly and you throw it because you can’t reach it.  Also when I let you roam around the house with your snacks I have to be careful that you’re not sharing them with him.  I’ve come into the living room in the past to see that he’s surrounded by cracker crumbs and you proclaiming that you’ve shared.  I can’t be angry with you, you’re not aware of what he can and cannot eat, and you’re so proud of yourself for sharing, so we talk a lot about what Brother can and cannot eat, and that Mama and Daddy are the only ones who can give him food. 

You are still in your ballet class and by all accounts you love it.   A few weeks ago the teacher suggested that you move into the Tiny Tots class from the Mommy and Me class, since you’re awfully independent and didn’t need me much.  When I told you that you were going into a non mommy class you were concerned because you only need me to help you hop on one foot and to jump backwards, so for a week we role played you asking your teacher for help, so you were able to go into your first class confident that you would be okay with your hopping and backwards jumping.  Then when it was time the teacher helped you and you had a great class.  Now you don’t even say good bye to me,  you just go on in and dance your little heart out.  Lucky for me, with gymnastics I am still integral.  You need me to help you with so much, so I have no fear of being made redundant anytime soon by your independence.  You love your gymnastics too, especially the jumping.  Oh child, you love to jump!  There is a long trampoline that you jump on and it’s so cute to see you all excited and listen to you recite: “jump, jump, jump” as you bounce along towards the foam pit.  Remember when you first started you were scared of the pits?  But now you’re not afraid of them and jump into them with abandon like your comrades.  In your most recent class you were roaring and telling everyone that you were a shark.  No one told you that sharks don’t roar.  (and frankly I don’t think you’d believe them)

This month at home, Daddy converted the spare room into a playroom for you, so that the choke hazard toys were out of the way of Hudson.  You love to play in there and let us know that it’s “mine own room”.  And much to your Daddy’s happiness, the room always has a train snaking around it, and there are little towers of blocks marking houses where various people live, who all ride your train.  And to make me extra happy there are books scattered all over the room and you’ll spend just as much time reading books as you do playing with your trains.  I think you’re going to be the perfect mix of geek. 

Lately you’ve started to exhibit your inner GPS.  When I am driving down a road you’ll ask if we are going to so and so’s house, and so far every time you’ve been right that we’re in the same neighbourhood.  It’s a little creepy, although exciting, soon you’ll be able to give me directions, because goodness knows that I am directionally challenged!

Also this month you’ve started to get somewhat belligerent with me, or perhaps just a lot more headstrong.  It can be rather frustrating, but most times we can reason with you and talk with you through the situation.  Then with your headstrongness you’ve started to get really frustrated easily and will just throw a tantrum over some seemingly mundane task.  Like the other day you were eating papaya and you were having trouble stabbing the chunk, so you screamed and threw your bowl across the table.  I came over and you told me that it was too crazy.  So I rescued your bowl and we tried again, by scooping the fruit and talking a lot about asking for help, then role playing asking for help and using team work to eat your papaya.  Eventually you ate the bowlful.  Sadly this is a common scene around here lately.  You get so frustrated and you want to be so independent, so we sing a lot about team work (thank you Wonderpets!) and do a lot of role playing to help you sort out your frustrations.  So far it’s working.  I hope that you’re getting some tools to help you later, because stuff tends to just get harder.  Luckily for you though, you’re really bright, so you’ll sort it all out, pretty easily.

Dear sweet girl, this month has been pretty amazing.  I can’t believe that the summer is over and you’re getting closer and closer to being 3 years old.  I think this has been the fastest summer of my life!  It was a pretty stellar summer though, one of the best as far as summers go.  I can’t wait to see what happens next with you, my sweet busy crazy amazing girl!

love ,

Mama.