Dearest Hudson.
This month you’re six months old! You’re half a year old! Daddy reminded me and asked if I was planning a party. Sadly I didn’t have the time. I’m sorry Little Bud! I feel bad because I think back to when your sister was this little and we had a party for her when she turned 6 months, and one when she was 100 days, and with you all I’ve managed was an acknowledgement and some kisses. I know that you don’t care now, but perhaps when you’re older you will. I can make lots of excuses like that I’m more busy now that I have 2 babies, but I still feel bad. I do make sure I spend lots of time with you though. I don’t think you’ll ever feel unloved or second best, because you’re not!
I’ve reflected some on you since you’ve turned 6 months. I can’t help but think what would have been. If your twin would have lived and what our life would be like now if there were 2 six month old babies right now. I feel sad to think about it. I can’t bring myself to feel grateful that my life isn’t that busy. I’ll never feel grateful that I lost your twin, I am grateful for you though, you are so sweet, so mellow, so loving. I am a lucky mama. When we were starting to realize that something wasn’t quite right with your twin you were about 8 weeks along as an embryo, and I was so sad. I spent a lot of time thinking about “Leftie”, and I didn’t think as much about you, my healthy embryo, I knew you would be okay. Then one day, right before an appointment to see how you and Leftie were doing I felt a little thump, and it was you! At 8 weeks! The ultrasound confirmed that it was you, it was like you were reminding me to pay attention to you, that you’re still here and doing fine. I was happy to see you and your wiggly self, and sad to see that Leftie was not doing well. If we fast forward to now, you’re a plump, busy 6 month old baby boy. I still think of your angel, and what could have been. But I am happy with how things are now.
This month you’ve been busy! You’re so close to crawling, you can get up on your hands and knees and you rock a little. I can see that you’re figuring out what to do with this new vantage point. I suspect that soon you’ll sort it all out and move forward, but for now you generally fall over and roll, piviot, roll to get to where you need to go.
With your eating we’ve implemented the baby lead solids method of eating. I let you explore food, play with it, rub it all over you and in general learn about it with all of your senses. So far you really seem to like it. I still have to give you rice cereal to help keep your reflux at bay, but I need less and less, which is nice because I hate the stuff and you appear to as well. In the last little while you’ve had plums, nectarines, borscht, fro yo, bread, naan, lemons, melons and tortillas. You make a lot of faces and often the food ends up on the floor, but first you handle it and poke it and explore it. Sometimes you give it a lick, or you stuff it all in your mouth, I think you’re enjoying your food, and loving that it’s not on a spoon! You still love your bottles, but you are slowing down on them. For a while we moved you up to 6 ounces each time, and you downed them with gusto, but now you rarely finish a whole 6 ouncer, so we’re back to 4 or 5. Also lately you’ve shown some interest in nursing again. We stopped because you had no patience for my non supply, but now you want to comfort nurse, which is sweet. And it’s shocking to learn that you still have a perfect latch. You’re a pretty amazing little guy!
This past month you’ve really started to notice the pets, and they amuse you to no end. You’ll just giggle at Chachi as he itches an itch or when he brings you a toy for you to have. It’s pretty cute to see that you love them! Bonsai will tolerate you and let you pull his tail that he twitches in your face. Chachi doesn’t mind when you pull a little hard on his leg, tail, ear, or whatever you’ve managed to grab. I hope you keep loving them. I’m sure they’ll agree, they love getting lots of attention!
It’s been a busy month! I’ve been working hard to make sure that your playgroup gets up and running so that you have lots of little friends like Trixie does. I can’t wait until you start to remember your friends and ask to play with them like Trixie does. It’s so sweet.
I love you my little man. Forever and ever!
Love,
Mama.