My sweet, endearing, sensitive, stubborn, beautiful mini me, you’re five years old!
I am both at odds with you being five and so amazed! I’m at odds because it means I”m ageing, time is passing and it brings the day closer to when you’ll move away. On the other hand I am amazed. You were such a tiny baby, and even so sick for a while, and now you’re this vibrant, intelligent, albeit tiny five year old. You are amazing on so many levels. You leave me breathless daily, from how your eyelashes graze your cheeks when you sleep, the curve of your cheek, the lovely shade of red that your lips are on your fair skin, your amazing blue eyes, which get overlooked when you are next to your brother, even though they are the same shade of blue. You leave me breathless when I am so frustrated at your stubborn ways. I rationalize with myself that you’ll never be a pushover, so I’ll celebrate your stubbornness, and I know where you get it from, and I think I’ve done pretty well for myself. I did create you after all! And you take my breath away at just how witty and bright you are. You make funny jokes, you deadpan which leaves me aghast at how you understand that humour, or it just comes naturally, either way, it’s funny and I often guffaw under my breath. While you get your stubborn nature from me, we all know you get your brilliant intelligence from Daddy. I gave you one of your first Lego kits a few weeks ago and you assembled it in no time by following the instructions. I was sure you’d get frustrated and leave it to me to assemble most of it, but when you called me over you were nearly done and were confused at why something wasn’t working and it was because a page in the manual wasn’t opened all of the way. (it folded in on itself) I guess it’s time for us to move away from Duplo into the wonderful world of Lego.
You love princesses and Disney. I know a lot of people claim that this will ruin you, and if I defend that you still play with other toys and don’t always gravitate to pink, the princess detesters still come back with how it’s not normal to play like that. My darling, you play with your princesses, dress like them and love your pink. I will protect you from the scowls of the others, as I pack the van to go to Disney, yet again. We bought season passes this year and we’ve been several times and you and your brother have so much fun! Daddy and I have already planned several more trips, with one coming in the next couple of weeks, with just you and I! I plan to keep it a secret until we leave, I think you’ll be so excited, it will be an epic Mama and Trixie date!
The night before you turned 5 I was putting you to bed and told you your birth story for the first time, and as I was telling it I realized that it’s not the best bedtime story for a little girl. It’s a little graphic and unsettling, even now for me! But I glossed over a lot, so it was very short and ended with me holding my beautiful little girl. After the story I reminded you that you’d turn five the next day and you started to cry. You were worried that you wouldn’t be allowed to go back to school because you’re in a four year old class and you though that you wouldn’t get to see your teacher again. Poor sweet girl! I reassured you that you would get to see her again and that your class is actually for four and five year olds. This is one of the reasons why you are so amazing, you are so sensitive and empathetic, you love other people and sincerely care for them. There’s lots of talk in the world now how children are getting numb to other people and don’t notice other’s pain, for example when a child is hurt on a playground other children will ignore that child and keep playing because they’ve become immune from media to other’s pain. You aren’t numb to it. You will go to that child. This warms my heart. You are so sweet and caring!
At school you are in a class with 17 boys and 7 girls, but you are thriving! You are that girl who will play with the boys and the girls. You’ll play a little bit at one area and when that cycle of play is done you move on to another area. However you do spend the bulk of your time at the craft table and the free craft table. You love to create and make and explore! The days that I am at the school you check in with me, but you are confident enough to keep on with your day, you do love to be at my snack table, and I try to always save you a seat, and your teacher is kind enough to change your circle time so you can have your snack with me. We are blessed to have her as your teacher this year!
This past year you’ve been thinking about what you want to be when you grow up, you’ve settled on a paleontologist, an entomologist or an anthropologist, so you love dinosaurs, bugs and bones. You also love animals and dote on Chachi and Bonsai relentlessly, much to their happiness and distaste depending on their moods. Daddy and I are considering getting you a cat to help defray your ministrations from Bonsai to a younger cat who is less grumpy. For your birthday party you chose to benefit the Humane Society of Silicon Valley, so we had your friends bring stuff for the animals instead of gifts for you. I love how you understand that you won’t get presents and you loved the tour of the facilities so you could see who the presents would be benefiting. I also have the added bonus of not trying to figure out where to store a whole bunch of new toys!
For the past while, probably 2 years you’ve been dressing yourself, and I look forward every day to seeing what creation you’ve come up with. I secretly take pleasure in your stripes and spot configurations. I love your intentional mismatched socks and the days when you’re monochromatic down to your underwear. I joke that I need to create a look book for you, and I should! I wish I had the same fearless approach to fashion as you do. In fact everyone should, you dress with abandon and wear what makes you feel happy that day, not what some talking head or rather bobble head as it may be, dictates what you should wear. You’ve also discovered light up shoes this year and you’ve already worn a pair out and are onto your second pair. I indulge you because you love them so! You’ve also started to choose your brother’s clothes, mostly so that he’ll coordinate with you, which I find so many levels of adorable.
At our five year check up at the doctors he was gracious enough to point out how tiny you are. You’re 3rd percent for weight and 6 for height, Hudson is 3 inches or so shorter than you and only about a pound less than you. You are tiny! (32lbs 39 inches) I’ve been telling you for a while that you are petite and you’ve embraced it, reminding folks that you are “betite” like you Mama, I’ve heard you in your room giving yourself peptalks about your smallness: ”I have long legs and short body, I’ll be a good ball-ler-ay dancer. Mama has a long body and short legs, but she’s betite like me.”. You’re still in a 3T and you wear a size 8 or 9 shoe. You are tiny. The doctor isn’t worried, considering that I’m only 5 feet tall and Daddy is small too, we are going to keep an eye on you though, just to make sure that there isn’t anything going awry. In the meantime we have to make sure that you eat all of the go food, because you’re not a big eater so we have to make sure that the food you do eat is nutritious. You’re pretty good about it though and luckily you love fruit and veggies. I find it amusing how you remind Daddy and I often how you’re a “vege-me-tarian”, and when you tell me you are, I honour it. It is funny though how you become a meat eater when there is red chicken to be eaten!
Finally my love, you are amazing. These past five years have been intense and wonderful. I tell you often how you and I are learning all about parenting together since you’re my first, and I’m not kidding. You are teaching me as much as I am teaching you. You’re brother is a lucky boy that you’re my teacher on this endeavour. I love being a parent so much, and I owe it to you! Parenting you, while challenging at times, it such a joy. You are a joy. I am a lucky Mama.
I love you so much, so so much. As big as the universe, times infinity!
Love, forever and always,